Look, we all love us some big ass robots with big ass guns, and Arnold is a big dude who can carry a big gun. Terminator part 1 was great. I mean, you've got time travel, killer robots, prophecies. I mean, seriously, how cool is that? You never get prophecy in sci-fi. Then, Terminator 2 threw things on their head. What? The Killer Robot is our friend against a newer, fancier robot? Oooo... how interesting that the bad guy from the first one is the good guy in the second.
Third movie? Same damn thing. Same old robot, brand new killer bots. The Sarah Conner Chronicles? Again, same thing. Reprogrammed robot helps kill bad robots. Terminator Salvation shakes things up, but just a little. One robot who doesn't know he's a robot helping fight the rest. We need to break from the formula.
So what if, for the next terminator movie... ALL of the robots versus aliens versus, wait for it, dinosaurs.
We're stuck with the same old tired and boring humans versus robots thing. This war's gone on long enough, don't you think? I mean, how many last stands does John Conner get before the robots realize bullshit bullshit bullshit, perseverance of the human spirit, bullshit bullshit bullshit, creativity, bullshit bullshit bullshit, capacity for love, blah blah blah.
We need a new enemy to step in and make things interesting. There's no one else on the planet. Humans could make weird genetically mutated humans who go nuts, but they'd have to use computers and let's be reasonable here, skynet would hack it. The robots have been churning out alternative robots for forever, so that's old hat. The only place to get new enemies is from the stars. So aliens come. Their electro-magnetic synthetic bio-whatever the hell scanners detect life and lots of tech, so they come to investigate, but here's the thing. All of these terminators sent back in time? That causes some serious distortion to the space time continuum and their temporal flux anomaly detectors say, "Hey, FYI, these guys have time travel," which of course the aliens have wanted for forever. Don't ask me how they can detect time travel but don't have time travel themselves. That's for the writers to figure out. That's their job, amirite?
So here's John Conner and he wants to get rid of these robots and here come the aliens. John makes a deal with the little green men or gray men or whatever color they end up being, and they agree to help him, only he doesn't know they're just in it for the tech and they plan on enslaving the world with it. So we get a little political intrigue. This isn't your daddy's action movie. It's got some real depth, you know? Layers.
As he's working with the aliens, he falls in love with one who's just smoking hot sexy. It'll be like Avatar only instead of being blue tree-hugging hippies they'll be sexy techno types who wear spandex and leather and neon lights like something out of Tron. And so we get a love story in there too and some really hot sex scenes. Make sure to get a little full frontal or at least topless, unlike that disappointing PG-13 Avatar sex scene nonsense.
She finds out what the aliens' real plans are and because she loves him, humans are great, indomitable human spirit, noble creatures bullshit that all these sci-fi movies have, she tells him and betrays her people. So they go to the terminators and they join up with them to get rid of the aliens, and then because Alien chick is from another planet, she says "let me show you how we love where I'm from," and there's a sexy lesbian scene with Summer Glau or the terminatrix or some other robo-hottie (What were they called in Austin Powers? Fembots?). Any way, lesbian sex. Three way. Get someone like Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman. Someone who all the fanboys wanna see naked. We're talking huge opening weekend grosses.
Anyway, terminators plus humans versus aliens. But we're too late. Aliens have the time travel tech, and guess what? Clothes, tools? Inorganic things don't time travel so well, so the aliens go back in time and get something all organic and all-powerful. Fuckin' dinosaurs. What? Only the humans get the idea that they can do it too. Imagine that final fight scene. Aliens blasting shit with lasers while a T-rex runs through and destroys everything in his path and then, oh shit, here comes every action star you've ever seen as robotic assassins armed with the biggest guns you've ever seen riding on the backs of fuckin' dinosaurs. Tell me you wouldn't pay good money to see that thing.
Now, Christian Bale is playing John Conner and he's been showing his chops, so we'll probably have to give him some Oscar Bait in there too. Maybe his wife dies at the beginning and his kids are brutally murdered by terminators, which is why he shacks up with the aliens (get over his wife). Plus, it shows real depth of character that he's siding with the robots who killed his kid after some big long "Should I? Shouldn't I?" scene.
You've got some political intrigue, some heart, some sex and violence, action, monsters, time travel, aliens. It'd be "Independence Day" meets "Jurassic Park" versus "G.I. Joe" meets "Terminator." Can you imagine the box office grosses? The merchandising? We're talking toys, action figures, breakfast cereals, t-shirts, video games, spin-off porn. What do you say? Let's greenlight this thing so we can start rolling in the millions.
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